Everyone has some dreams...I have too many...yet I have too few.. Maybe cus my dreams are not dreams...they are what i wish...they are what i see...i see a lil child playing with white snow... a dreamer flying high ....a lil boy looking in the sky...talk to stars n praise the moon every night.. Feelimg the freshness in every morning...wanting the sun shine on him each day n everyday....
I have wished for all these...i have nursed all these emotions..I have seen that lil child grow up...step into the big mean world...trying to match up...trying to catch up...he falls then he gets up..he gives up but then he cheers up...i see this lil boy everyday...wondering what its gonna be like...the day ...n what comes with it...
When I walk with this lil boy...I see that he's longing to be with someone he can call his own...fighting the temptations....surviving the odds...living life on the edge...crushed n crumbled ...
I have been through all the phases...
I have seen the strongest person go weak, letting go n giving up..I have seen the weak bring down the brave..yet I have not seen it all...
But tonight my friend i I have to write what I feel...I have to let it out...I have to ignore what I see...cus what I see I don't feel anymore...Altough Its been a while ...its been quite a while since I've reached out to the emotions that have been building up.. But there is a part of me that just holds on to me n my emtions...a part of me tryinga bring me out of my troubles...nurse me to wellness...n wipe those tears off me...giving hope to my emotions...keeping alive the lil child in me...not letting go when it means the most...and tonight I pray for that part of me...I wish it never let go on me...cus I have to look after the lil child in me...keep alive the kid in me...I have to let the lil boy out in the sun...I have to let him run in greens...he needs a lil bit...he don't ask for more...
so my dear friend r u ready to nurse this kid for me...cus I may go tommorow...what may live is this part of me...what may not is what I always wished for....what I dreamed about....if it wasn't me, then atleast it could be him...let him live...let him run n let him smile..smile so bright that he shines.....

lonely times...struggling times...and a lonely me ...this is wot i am at the moment ...walkin around ....in da rain ..in da sun ...taking every step with a prayer on my lips..trying to sort myself out..with this life..and with a lot more..
i have been down and out..i have been low...i have been looking for the answers out there...its a tough world out there...i have been kind enough all my life..but then it aint like that out there...
i may have moved places over the time...had to move away from the place which was my home for the last one year ...the place so close to my heart...where i met a few angels...who took care of me all through out...who have faith in me...who trust me and have guided me all through out...i miss the place i belong to..although i keep visiting the place where my soul rests and my happiness is evident in every single moment spend there...i have build memories which i will cherish for the rest of my life....
at this moment i am waiting for some one to come down and cheer me up...to put a smile on my face and to bring out the life in me....i long for that some one and i wish i never had to wait...i wish life was not this way ...it was a lot better till sometime ago ..but now that the times have changed and forced me to take decisions which have distanced me from these angels ....
but this doesnt mean i dont think about them...this doesnt mean ..i dont dream about them....they are in my memories and i take them where ever i go ....these tough times wont last long....the prayers of these angels would come true and may get me through ....there is a god up there and he always listens to his angels....he wont let them down ....may be he would answer their prayers and set things right for me...
come my angel and hold my hand...guide me and support me....come with me and save me from all my troubles....walk with me and take away my loneliness...take away the pain that i have caused myself all this while....i need you and i need your prayers.....i wait for you and i long for you....come now and be with me.....i wait for YOU ...!

lonely times...struggling times...and a lonely me ...this is wot i am at the moment ...walkin around ....in da rain ..in da sun ...taking every step with a prayer on my lips..trying to sort myself out..with this life..and with a lot more..
i have been down and out..i have been low...i have been looking for the answers out there...its a tough world out there...i have been kind enough all my life..but then it aint like that out there...
i may have moved places over the time...had to move away from the place which was my home for the last one year ...the place so close to my heart...where i met a few angels...who took care of me all through out...who have faith in me...who trust me and have guided me all through out...i miss the place i belong to..although i keep visiting the place where my soul rests and my happiness is evident in every single moment spend there...i have build memories which i will cherish for the rest of my life....
at this moment i am waiting for some one to come down and cheer me up...to put a smile on my face and to bring out the life in me....i long for that some one and i wish i never had to wait...i wish life was not this way ...it was a lot better till sometime ago ..but now that the times have changed and forced me to take decisions which have distanced me from these angels ....
but this doesnt mean i dont think about them...this doesnt mean ..i dont dream about them....they are in my memories and i take them where ever i go ....these tough times wont last long....the prayers of these angels would come true and may get me through ....there is a god up there and he always listens to his angels....he wont let them down ....may be he would answer their prayers and set things right for me...
come my angel and hold my hand...guide me and support me....come with me and save me from all my troubles....walk with me and take away my loneliness...take away the pain that i have caused myself all this while....i need you and i need your prayers.....i wait for you and i long for you....come now and be with me.....i wait for YOU ...!

Memories dont last a lifetime...but moments do..a moment of laughter, joy and sorrow is what keeps the journey going...a moment filled with happniness is what reminds you of the good times...and a moment loaded with sorrows is what brings tears in the eye...
i am going through something right now and it forces me to sit back and think about it ...it forces me to close my eyes and shed a tear....a tear which could roll down any time...and make my heart feel lighter...this moment reminds me of all the good times i have shared with people around me....all the laughs i have shared with people around me at this time...people have come into my life...and they promised a million things ..i would not doubt it all..i am straight and i belive that way...dont think twice about anything...
but then the world aint straight....what i see...they dont see...what i feel ...they dont look at it the same way ...thers manipulation, complexity in everything they do ..or think about...i wish it wasnt like that...i wish it was much more simple and people just let their hearts decide for them ..but that doesnt happen much...people use a lot of their heads and little bit of their hearts....
this moment brings me back to my childhood...when i would just be lost in my own simple world...but a place filled with emotions...and love....the life in me back then was all about the simple things ...i was not between any calculated souls...i was so much into my own world....a world where i had to just live and smile at everyone around me...but times have changed and so has the world ....there aint much innocence...there aint anything called love...its all in the books and in the songs that play in the hearts of people who want to be loved or feel loved...the feeling aint there.......i wish people realized the real moments of life and let the joys and their inner feelings take over their calculated ambitions and manipulations..............!

Memories dont last a lifetime...but moments do..a moment of laughter, joy and sorrow is what keeps the journey going...a moment filled with happniness is what reminds you of the good times...and a moment loaded with sorrows is what brings tears in the eye...
i am going through something right now and it forces me to sit back and think about it ...it forces me to close my eyes and shed a tear....a tear which could roll down any time...and make my heart feel lighter...this moment reminds me of all the good times i have shared with people around me....all the laughs i have shared with people around me at this time...people have come into my life...and they promised a million things ..i would not doubt it all..i am straight and i belive that way...dont think twice about anything...
but then the world aint straight....what i see...they dont see...what i feel ...they dont look at it the same way ...thers manipulation, complexity in everything they do ..or think about...i wish it wasnt like that...i wish it was much more simple and people just let their hearts decide for them ..but that doesnt happen much...people use a lot of their heads and little bit of their hearts....
this moment brings me back to my childhood...when i would just be lost in my own simple world...but a place filled with emotions...and love....the life in me back then was all about the simple things ...i was not between any calculated souls...i was so much into my own world....a world where i had to just live and smile at everyone around me...but times have changed and so has the world ....there aint much innocence...there aint anything called love...its all in the books and in the songs that play in the hearts of people who want to be loved or feel loved...the feeling aint there.......i wish people realized the real moments of life and let the joys and their inner feelings take over their calculated ambitions and manipulations..............!

well, i have been busy for quite some time now but thankfully today i find myself at peace and so i thought i should write a little bit about the past few days and the coming weeks wherein i am to take a journey ....it has been quite a journey in itself so far....the journey of love ...peace and an experience called life....
i am away from my so called home right now....again catching up with friends and just living life in its real colors....but what strikes the chords of my existence is the realization of a feeling that people who are close to my heart stay with me all the way ..all the day ....be it away from them...or being right next to them....its a feeling in itself...i miss the precious moments that i have carved out in the last few months..
even though its a matter of days that i am away from someone close to my heart...but it seems like ages..it looks like a nightmare...waking up, being with the people who matter in your life...but the mere absence of that special someone reminds of the golden moments and the distance adds to the nostalgia which brings out the true colors of life...
its strange that people ruin their lives craving for the material desires, but end up giving up on the loved ones next to them....people who are close to their heart dont get the deserved share of love and affection...
being close to your own heart...true to oneself and the faith in ones feelings matters the most...if i am close to my own heart , theres every chance that i will end up being closer to life..which is not too tough but we make it one...simple things...simple approaches go a long way in solving even the most complicated problems...as i mentioned in the past write ups, i am not a problem solver myself but taking a simple step that may touch a person in a different way matters to me....
i wish the closeness to my heart helps me solve all the problems around ...all the issues between me and myself....i wud try and try harder to get there....to be what i want to be ...may even end up being what i desire to be ...but then if i am not close to my own self how can i be close to my life....
i may need some help from a special someone whos not around at the moment but i have full faith that i wont be let down ...i wud ask for help when i need it...i may get it...but at the moment i dont need the help i just need the feeling from that some one that shares the closeness of my heart and be close to my life ...all the time ..all the while !!!!

well, its after days and so many of them,I am here ..life has been the same ...treating me same way everyday but there’s one thing that has been keeping me happy all the way...the sun has been shining for a few days now...the weather is sweet for a lot of hours now...i can see the strength of life in the sunshine ..the flowers are in full bloom ...pink white and red everywhere ...the kids are out on the streets and the younger ones are trying hard to open their small infant eyes to the piercing rays of the sun...
it is such a summer feeling ....it brings with it a lot of memories , it brings wit itself a lot of energies...i have been lucky enough to be embraced by the best shoulders and kissed by the sun while cool breezes blow in my hair....i have been in the sun and i have been in the laps of mother nature and i have been soaking every bit of it....
that was all about the sun that’s up there and shining so bright ....but there has to be someone down in here around us all the time to make sure we live this life and all of it in a very special way....there has to be a reason and a purpose for our existence....and i guess i have found what mine is ...i can see it ...so can i feel it....all over me and around me at all times ...
i call her the girl who misses her coaches all the times...one who always has missed her coaches no matter what ...but has always managed to make sure she is missed all the time ...no matter where she goes and what she does..
here is some of her...an answer to all the things I was looking for…a reason against all the things that looked so intrigued ....a lot of life filled in a petite manner from head to her toes....filled wit a lot of love and affection she’s out there making me feel loved and cared for....the sun is shining at the moment on both of us...the feel of serenity and the heights of care are visible in every action of hers...i am not much of a person when it comes to treating people, but i have made sure that she’s treated the way she deserves and the way she needs all the love and care at all times….
this girl may miss all the coaches in the world...she may be rushing through things at the last moment ....she may be breathless running up and down.....but hey wait a minute!! is all of that not me...i am all of that and a lot more....so i guess i have found a person out there who’s just like me...the way she talks , the way she feels or the way she misses the coaches to make those endless journeys...to take this journey with me ...to walk these distances with me .....
there was one more journey for her this time ...that would take her away from me ..away from my sight...so , this time i prayed and prayed that she missed it ..and yeah like always she did it...i felt so proud of this part of me ...i felt so touched by this part of me ...so i just kept looking her in the eye...this time i did not want her to take this journey ...this time i wanted her to miss the coach all over again ..
it was too hard to let go this time ,it was like a dream that shakes you out of the sleep....a much more painful experience than a nightmare...i wished so hard that she could be in the sun with me..the moment she left i felt like this kid who gets lost in a jungle out there and cries for his dear ones ...but i had to move ...and wait for her to come back ...i felt a lot like the person inside me ..who is more like a kid.....always at peace with himself ....always smiling with himself...for no reason at all....and always looking for answers and a lot more intriguing faces of the world...looking for clues, but i have one this time ...and this time it tells me to walk alongside it...to struggle alongside it...to beat the world and come out with these smiles and happiness for everyone around ....
so, all these days the sun shined bright on us and we walked a lot of miles ...we walked these streets that have a lot of happiness, smiles , serenity and peace... although at the moment i am a witness to this darkness and the aura of the sunset is all around me.....this moment makes me want to wait for my sun to come back to me ...to shine on me ..!!!

well here i am writing about it all over again ...its been days ..a lot of things ...a lot of moments ...but i have seen it all...i have seen a rainy day ...with a sunny evening ..i have seen it snow in the spring...ive seen the rainbow up the hill....and i have seen the colors of the sky...
.the day i woke up ..i find myself in a lot of troubles...the night i go to sleep wishing all the troubles go down the drain ..but today as i wake up again ..and here i am writing about all the things i see around me ..near me ...and close to me ....i see a boy who is lonely at the moment ..i see a man who wants to be with someone at the moment ..i see a kid who wants to go play in the greens ...i see it all ...right before my eyes..i see it all inside of me ....
i see a person who has been through it all...i see a person who has walked the toughest terrains and walked a lot of miles...to search for peace ..to search for life...things happen ...things happen for a reason ...over every season ....this and that....here and there ...i may do a few silly mistakes....but does that make me a bad person ...does that kill the soul in me ....the life in me may be dead at the moment ...but the heart in me says that i am not that bad to hurt anyone ...in fact i would not do that till the end ...but if i still did it....i apologize ...i ask for forgiveness...i need to make it up to the people around me ...i need to be at peace........so here i am writing what i see....i see pain at the moment ..i feel it ...but i want to get rid of it ...i want to see the greens and be like a kid who is always peaceful and serene.....i wish i could always write what i see and what i don't want to see all over me....as a kid, as a man ..as a PERSON with a life ..and a purpose and a feel of happiness and serenity ...!!!

well, tried a lot looking for the perfect home around town but ended up being at the same place and so i could not move this month at all....its been happening for two months in a row now...dont know when i would get to be lucky enough to move on to a better place..but thankfully at the moment i am still enjoying my easter holidays..just a few more days to go..so i am just catching up with the sleeping giant inside me ..giving him doses and doses of sleep....and yeah this comes with the fact that i am having some dreams about the place where i come from and all the things that i relate to ....makes me nostalgic in my own sleep...makes me miss the world around me more and more...things are shaping up on this side of the world...and making me feel better....each day ......

its been a hectic week, i have been travelling ..it was fun ....did a lot of catching up with gud old friends and made some new ones as well..thats what i have been doing all my life...making new friends and keeping in touch with the old ones as well...this has been like a daily routine , wherever i go , i end up making a lot of friends ...a friends friend would be my friend and so on and all..so the circle of life just keeps growing...i have more and more people around me ...i have more birthday wishes...and the gifts as well ( who on earth does not want em all ).. it feels good when there are a lot of genuine people around you and i consider myself lucky to have all these gems around me...one of these gems is here blogging big time ...hes a big time blogger , a techie and i respect him and his views ..he has influenced my life, a lot of times and its people like him that keep the life in me running and make sure that i have a reason and a purpose to do each and everything in life...well, there should always be a reason and a purpose for everyone to do any thing at any point of time ...this inspires the life in all of us and gives us a reason to live to let live and to make peace with ourselves....
well, now that i am back inside my lovely nest i need to get back to this world of mine ....get in touch with people and inform them that i am back ..and a lot of work needs to be done ...which includes sorting out my accommodation, cause my contract ends in the next four days ...so guys, i may end up homeless in the next few days...unless i sort myself out and find myself a peaceful place where i can be myself and give life to all my thoughts and feelings .....this life would be a tough one if i don't find myself a place to live ...so i need to do some homework now or i would end up homeless in the streets.....!!!!

well, this it is my second one ...i am going around the country right now,thanks to the easter holidays...so just being in peace with myself...hanging out with friends...catchng up with all of them..this is a part of my life....my friends are an important part of my life...they have been there when i was falling down ...my life is all about my friends and how i be in touch with all of them wherever they are....
its strange, that we forget to be in touch with our loved ones...the ones who give us so much....i am on it at the moment...i`ll keep it short this time as i need to do more of the catching up with all of them ...need to get closer to a life which i live.....a life which is more about LIFE !!!

well , i am blogging for the first time ..i don know how well i write or how good i am at it...but a friend of mine has always been an inspiration for me ...hes been blogging and doing a lot more out of his life...i was busy doing things differently...but now i have made up my mind of blogging and writing it all up here....
i may not get so many views or comments but i would be satisfied that i am catching up with this trend of blogging on the go or when you dont have much to do ....
People out there talk about serious issues or numbers ....i aint doing that ...i know thats a tough job for me ..i would be more than happy to post something of interest and something which all of you can relate to ...it may be related to life...the life we all live...the issues we come across....something which always comes to our mind or our eyes but we never bother to write a few lines about it.......i have lived almost 25 years of my life ( as of now) and i am just moving on with the rest of you around me ....at times dont really understand the purpose of my existence ( do u know about your own life)...for some of you, it may be earning lotta money and living a luxurious life...for some its totally different ...but at the end of the day all of us want peace in our lives.....how many of us actually have it....we may have loads of money ....or fancy gadgets ( i am not impressed by the trendy i phones or the sleek i macs around) ....is this the end of life...is this what we really want out of life....well for people it is all they want ...for the rest of us ....for people like me ....this aint all..theres more to life than these fancy gadgets and pity issues....when each of one us thinks of our own lives, we come across a number of situations ...how we deal with them ..how we let them grow or just bin them .....i am not much of a problem solver myself.....landed myself in lotta troubles...mess or whatever u call it.( i would love to call it crap, but they may put off my blogg, so i aint risking it on the very first one)....but then i had to get out of it....move on with life ...and here i am blogging my experiences with life and the creatures of human nature ......
well, i just am i normal human being with all the needs and the desires intact and would definitely be a normal personality all my life with these abnormal views on life...some of you out there may agree with me on the issues which i think need more importance ....the gud old LIFE..and how we all live it...spend years digging up our graves and end up falling in one ,....how to make sure that we go down with the best of the memories and not with exhausted minds and stressed out souls....!!!!!